One of my frustrations in this life is people who miss the point but somehow don’t get it. They are not really gaslighting, they just don’t know they miss the point.
Everybody wants Sark to defend himself (except people who are dishonest and blindly loyal to Yvonne Nelson). When you mention a man’s name in the context Yvonne Nelson did, he should tell his side of the story, first to apologize if it’s true but also let the world know he is not or no longer who he is being projected to be.
In 2007, Akon was captured, on video, at a club in Trinidad And Tobago where he danced very suggestively on stage with a 15-year-old girl.
In a way, he did truly accept responsibility for the massive outrage his actions had produced. However, the most significant effect of this action was that Verizon, a major telecommunications company, chose to stop sponsoring Gwen Stefani’s The Sweet Escape Tour. This was due to the fact that Akon was one of her opening acts.
In the midst of the scandal, Akon did a song to express contrition for his behavior, notably, as an apology to Gwen Stefani, who had lost out as Akon’s actions brought a lot of negative publicity to the tour.
But Akon had a solid public defense. Kids are not supposed to be in the club that young. How was he supposed to know she was a child? You may disagree with him but it was a pretty good defense. Systems are put in place for a reason.
After the whole saga, he had lost a ton of endorsement deals and his career was on the brink. He had every right to be angry but in response, his song was apologetic. He apologized to everyone including his family for things in his opinion were not his fault. That song now has close to 400 million views on YouTube alone.
That song is a masterclass in dealing with a scandal especially when you think you are being unfairly singled out.
The point of many people (who do not hate Sark) commenting and expressing disappointment in the King is that he has every right to defend himself and his family but to do so thinking about his own future and the future of his kids. He also had to be sensitive to the nature of the accusations against him and how in this era women are supposedly taking back their power and holding men accountable for things they (the men being accused and the women making the accusations) don’t even remember.
Yes, Sark is an inspiration. His story is one of resilience and drive and that kind of life can inspire all of us but so is Yvonne Nelson’s story.
These are two of the most successful creatives in our space who built their lives from next to nothing. It is important that they respect each other’s legacy and settle their differences in a way that doesn’t bring them and their families down.
Yvonne Nelson’s book is a powder keg that brings so much passion and emotions to the table. Sark’s response, was supposed to calm tempers and diffuse any charge in the situation. He didn’t do that.
In contrast, another victim of Yvonne Nelson’s book, Iyanya, who says his stint with the actress has destroyed almost all his chances for a serious relationship since 2013, gave a response that has come to earn the respect of many Ghanaians.
Iyanya chose to respond during a recent media tour in Ghana. He did not sing or tweet his response. He said he did not want to disrespect Yvonne Nelson especially due to what they both shared.
“Yvonne Nelson is a sweet girl. I’m sure the book is doing well, obviously, because everybody is talking about it. I don’t really feel good that I have to sit down on the radio and talk about it because it’s very emotional.”
“I wish I and Yvonne Nelson could sit down and talk about it,” he said.
If Iyanya decided to put this response in a song, I am not sure he would have gotten the sort of backlash Sarkodie got. A measured, respectful response to a matter like this is generally accepted not because people think Sark did not have a right to respond but because you need to show sensitivity to the pain that will cause a young woman to write a book calling out her own mother about her family issues.
As the father of a young girl, Sark should have a rethink of his response. He can walk “Try Me” back by taking a cue from Akon. Just say “Sorry”.
