When a woman fakes an orgasm, it’s easy to assume she’s trying to make sex seem better than it is. But according to new research, the truth is far more complicated—and far less about her own enjoyment.
A ZipHealth survey of 1,000 women found that 78 percent have been with a partner struggling with sexual performance anxiety. And when that happens, many women step into the role of emotional caretaker, not just sexual partner.
Instead of speaking openly about their dissatisfaction, women often cushion their partner’s ego—sometimes literally moaning through the discomfort. One-third of respondents admitted to faking an orgasm specifically to avoid awkwardness or protect their partner’s confidence. For others, the “performance” wasn’t just in bed but in the silence afterward—pretending nothing was wrong, skipping sex entirely, or steering the conversation away from the issue.
Nearly half of women in the survey assumed they were the problem the first time it happened. A quarter said it made them feel less attractive. And for 65 percent, the solution was to change how they behaved during sex—putting his needs above their own or downplaying what they wanted.
Porn culture only adds fuel to the fire. Fifty-nine percent of women said unrealistic depictions of sex were shaping their partner’s expectations and eroding real-life confidence. In this environment, an honest conversation about what’s happening between the sheets can feel riskier than simply acting like nothing’s wrong.
Perhaps most striking, the survey found that 91 percent of women stayed in the relationship, with many offering comfort or simply giving their partner space to “work through it.” Yet only 22 percent said they felt completely comfortable raising the topic themselves—leaving the burden of emotional and sexual adaptation squarely on their shoulders.
Faking pleasure may seem like a harmless shortcut to keep the peace, but it has long-term consequences. It can erode genuine intimacy, create emotional distance, and teach women to prioritize their partner’s comfort over their own fulfillment.
Until men feel safe enough to talk openly about performance anxiety—and women feel safe enough to be honest about their needs—the most convincing climax in the room may still be the one that never actually happened.
